01/04/2026
Awful DnD Game Today
Well, first of all. Let me address the dates. I know it says I've posted two blogs on January 4th, but actually the one from before this was written on January 3rd. Do you care? No? Too bad! I told you anyways.
Today was uneventful. But I did end up getting sick finally. I've been on the verge of it for days. Its not that bad of a case though. Just an upset stomach, headache, and a slight fever. *knock on wood*
I did play DnD today. "That sounds like fun!" you might be saying.
Well, you'd be wrong.
Remind me to tell you about this campaign sometime. I don't have the time or energy to get into it right now. But long story short, it sucks ass. Its a rambling, unfocused mess with a lame story and recurring problems. I could go on all day about it, but like I said. I have other things I want to talk about.
Anywhoways, we played today. Against my better judgement I showed up for the game. I don't really know why I did tbh. Maybe I was feeling lonely and wanted to hang out with my friends. Or maybe I was feeling masochistic. I do tend to feel that way quite often.
We spent the first two hours sitting around doing nothing, because our DM has no ability to keep track of his notes. He was sifting through them looking for some item or whatever that he wrote down. And in the end he didn't even find it. We just moved on. I could excuse one case of lost notes, but I swear to god this happens EVERY session. "Sorry guys my notes app is acting up", "sorry guys I changed phones two years ago and lost a bunch of my notes", "sorry guys my search function isn't working". Give me a break. Just admit that you lost the shit or didn't write it down to begin with so we don't have to waste our time.
So after two hours of that bullshit we finally get to the actual game. I have really no clue what was going on, because the last time we played was 6 months ago. But as I recall, we were chasing some dude through the woods. He was a demon or something and we were following our friend's magic demon tracking compass.
So we chase the guy down, so far so good honestly. We get into a fight with the thing. He's a bone devil and he has this little imp servant with him.
We get a sneak attack off on them. And I actually end up killing the imp with a box of rusy nails (don't ask)
Now a bit of background before we get into what happens next.
I play a character that's a Rogue with the Phantom archetype. I really regret picking it, because it kind of sucks honestly. But I chose it back when I had no real idea about anything regarding 5e. But the important part are my roguish features. The two that are important for this story are called Wails From The Grave and Tokens of The Departed. I'll past their descriptions below.
Wails from The Grave
At 3rd level, as you nudge someone closer to the grave, you can channel the power of death to harm someone else as well. Immediately after you deal your Sneak Attack damage to a creature on your turn, you can target a second creature that you can see within 30 feet of the first creature. Roll half the number of Sneak Attack dice for your level (round up), and the second creature takes necrotic damage equal to the roll's total, as wails of the dead sound around them for a moment. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.
Tokens of The Departed
At 9th level, when a life ends in your presence, you're able to snatch a token from the departing soul, a sliver of its life essence that takes physical form: as a reaction when a creature you can see dies within 30 feet of you, you can open your free hand and cause a Tiny trinket to appear there, a soul trinket. The DM determines the trinket's form or has you roll on the Trinkets table in the Player's Handbook to generate it.
You can have a maximum number of soul trinkets equal to your proficiency bonus, and you can't create one while at your maximum.
You can use soul trinkets in the following ways:
Blah Blah Blah a bunch of uses that aren't important for this story....
So anyways, I kill the little fucker with my nails. Now. I actually get excited for this. Because this is the first damn time I've actually gotten to use Tokens of The Departed. Which is like. Literally the whole point of this archetype, basically.
But then my DM pulls some total uhm ackshually bullshit and says that, since demons don't technically die, I can't use this on them. It pissed me off a little, because I was real excited about this. But whatever. I guess, yes. It does "technically" say they have to die. And if he wants to be a little bitch baby loser about it and say the demon isn't technically dead then whatever.
But fine. I can use my other ability. Wails From The Grave. Since we sneak attacked these guys, that means I can use wails on the demon dude we were chasing.
Or at least that's what I THOUGHT.
Nope. Mr. "Rules As Written" is all like. "Um. Technically improvised weapons can't get sneak attack damage. Therefore you didn't sneak attack, therefore you can't use Wails From The Grave."
HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE!? Why the fuck does it matter if it was a box of rusty nails or a fucking knife!? I still sneak attacked! That's what matters! But no. God fucking forbid I do something. So I sit there and do literally nothing with any of my class powers for the entire fucking session.
Oh, and it gets even better. Because demons take half damage from non-magical attacks, that basically meant I was stuck using this winky dink little magic knife the whole fight instead of my main sword. Let's fucking go!
Ugh. Its just so. Whatever. Am I being a little bitchy? Yeah, maybe. I know it probably sounds that way from this post. But its just been YEARS of this shit. Literal years! And we're only fucking level NINE. And we haven't even made any real progress in this fuckass game.
One day I'll seriously sit down and write about it on here. It'll probably do me some good. But I think that's enough of that tonight.
WOW. I rambled a lot. Uhmmmm. Well, I was going to talk about my adventures into Tarot readings, but I think this blog is long enough. I'll write about it tomorrow maybe.
Bye bye, Dollies~!
